This Season on The Bachelorette: Love, Lust, and Loss

This Season on The Bachelorette: 
Love, Lust, and Loss 

It's 8:00 P.M. on a Sunday night. You've been waiting all week for this moment. You grab the pint of chocolate ice cream, the remote, and snuggle up on the couch with your cat Fluffy curled up next to you. You are happy, but you secretly wish it was you living the life you're watching on the screen. All you single ladies know this is you. Tuning into the The Bachelor and or The Bachelorette is undeniably the best part of your week. This drama filled show captures everything from tears to laughs to intimacy; these are a few of your favorite things.

Each season, either a man or a woman is chosen to become The Bachelor or Bachelorette. Then, twenty-six others with all different interests, occupations, and personalities, are brought onto the show with hopes to find true love. Contestants and The Bachelor or Bachelorette go on various romantic dates all over the world and get opportunities to throughly get to know one another. Each week, contestants are sent home, until eventually two are left, and then the one will be chosen.

The Bachelor and The Bachelorette follow a very traditional love style where true affection is chosen over lust. However, this past season of the Bachelorette with Kaitlyn Bristowe, this was not the case, and the controversy brought up through her season expresses a major issue with our society.

Meet Kaitlyn. She's goofy, gorgeous, and full of life. Many loved Kaitlyn for her bubbly personality. However, this changed. A couple weeks into her season on The Bachelorette, Kaitlyn allowed another man onto the show; a man she had previous chemistry with. His name was Nick Viall. Kaitlyn allowing Nick onto the show upset many of the other contestants. They argued it was unfair for them, and many of them turned on Kaitlyn. On top of this, Kaitlyn let her sexual attraction towards Nick go possibly a little too far, or too far in the eyes of the viewers. 

Nathan Francis, an author for inquisitr.com, wrote the viewers were accusing Kaitlyn of being a poor role model, and were even taking it to the next level of "slut shaming" Kaitlyn. These actions are hurtful, and especially confusing towards Kaitlyn. She tried to explain herself by saying that every relationship was moving at different speeds on the show (Francis, Nathan). She says, 

 

I don’t think that’s a crazy thing to sleep with somebody when you’re trying to be in a relationship with them... I’m a 30-year-old woman and I make my own decisions and intimacy to me is a part of every relationship and I don’t know why everyone is so shocked by it. It’s 2015. (Francis, Nathan)

Further, Kaitlyn tweeted this as a response to all the hate she was receiving from her audience:

Kaitlyn received an overwhelming amount of hate through social media and email. Lauren Weigle, writer for Heavy.com collected a number of tweets toward Kaitlyn that reflected their anger towards and her decisions on the show. They include:

Okay, sure. It's fine to think what you want, but what would ever compel people to say these things, not just aloud, but on social media for the world to read?

Not only is it awkward for Kaitlyn, but extremely hurtful. At the end of The Bachelorette season, there is an episode called The Men Tell All, where all the men come back on the show, and you can probably guess what they do; they "tell all." Amanda Michelle Steiner, writer for People magazine shares Kaitlyn's opinions on all the hatred the nation has been sending her. She wrote that Kaitlyn says, 

I am so fine with people disagreeing with me or having their opinions, that’s okay. But spreading the hate people have been is not okay... It’s hard. It's really hard. It’s hurtful. I like to think that it doesn’t matter what people think about me... but when it’s thousands and thousands [of comments] just pouring in of people hating... I get death threats. That hurts. (Steiner, Amanda Michelle)

If you're wondering if you read that correctly, you did. Death threats. Yep. Death threats.

And to put icing onto the cake, Kaitlyn shared the she received an email from a MOTHER that called Kaitlyn a "selfish whore" and continued on saying she should "crawl in a hole and die" (Steiner, Amanda Michelle). 

Now, if that doesn't tell you that there is something seriously wrong with our society, I don't know what will.

It is no surprise to anyone when bullying, and more particularly, cyber-bullying is brought up. With technology becoming increasingly popular, it has never been easier for malicious actions to occurs, especially through social media. Kaitlyn's experience with all the negatively and death threats she was receiving is just one example of cyber-bullying. 

Steiner brings up a great point in her article online for People Magazine. She says, "it's always disappointing to see women dragging other women through the dirt for defying societal expectations" (Steiner, Amanda Michelle). It is clear that there are more issues aside from cyber-bullying with Kaitlyn's situation; woman's social norms are introduced in this situation. Why is Kaitlyn receiving so much hate for exploring her relationship and taking it to the next level with Nick? She is an adult and she is allowed to make her own decisions. As said before, The Bachelor and The Bachelorette were created to portray and execute "traditional," love, where intimacy and sexual desires do not necessarily flow hand-in-hand (until a certain amount of time has passed). But when Kaitlyn, a woman, breaks this rule, these are the consequences she faces. What were to happen if it was an episode on The Bachelor and a man were to "break the rules." Would the outcome be different, or be similar to Kaitlyn's? 

These are important circumstances that extend further than what has recently happened on The Bachelorette with Kaitlyn Bristowe; it is a controversial topic that is researched and examined by many.

All-in-all, what Kaitlyn has had to deal with is unfair. Despite the fact that she is a woman who is being slut-shamed, no human being should ever receive such bullying through social media. Next time you tune in to watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, ladies, keep in mind what you are posting. And keep in mind what you post in general; words can damage the soul.

Until next time, Bachelor and Bachelorette fans. Will you receive the final rose?

Works Cited

Francis, Nathan. "Kaitlyn Bristowe Controversy: ‘Bachelorette’ Not Ashamed To Have Sex On Show, But ABC’s Decision To Show Hookup May Not Be ‘Slut Shaming’." The Inquisitr News. N.p., 22 May 2015. Web. 23 Sept. 2015.

Steiner, Amanda Michelle. "The Bachelorette: Men Tell All Recap: Kaitlyn Got 'Death Threats' After Having Sex with Nick." People.com. N.p., 20 July 2015. Web. 23 Sept. 2015.

Weigle, Lauren. "'Bachelorette' Kaitlyn Bristowe's Slut-Shaming Mean Tweets." Heavy.com. N.p., 20 July 2015. Web. 23 Sept. 2015.