What You See, Is Not What You Get

What is your idea of a traditional family who seemed to have it all together? Our generation seemed to think our famous family was made up of nineteen children of the Duggar family. Little did we know, they weren't as perfect as they seemed. Though many family shows are constructed in a way in which they are represented positively, 19 Kids and Counting was a reality show series. This show was a serious demonstration and look into the lives of the nineteen different children in the show. Its funny how many people could actually find themselves involved in this family. When I was first introduced to this show I thought to myself that it was idiotic, and that no one would be able to relate to such an absurd lifestyle. After prejudging something I did not know much about I decided to watch the show for myself. TLC network is known for the many interesting and unnatural family shows they decide to produce. Shows such as Sister Wives and Honey Boo Boo are just other examples of shows they have aired that look into the lives of families that don’t live as others normally do. After watching it for myself, I finally realized that though their lifestyle may not have been like the audience watching it, the way the family represents their religion and morality is quite intriguing.

Religion is a huge aspect in the Duggar family. The only reason that the Duggars signed off on the show in the first place was so religion could be apart of it. Shockingly,  “On their family website, the Duggars' write that they chose to star in a reality series primarily for the reason that it would give them the chance to "share with the world that children are a blessing from God” (Bustle). According to the Duggar Family, they are independent baptists that practice Christianity. They branch off of a bigger religion into one that is of their own kind. The Duggars not only go on missionary trips to help serve others, but they also make anything that they can at home such as bread, baby wipes, and their own laundry detergent. They only buy used clothes at garage sales or thrift shops. They have never had a brand new car, and they go to any places that feed kids for free. The family will only spend cash, not any use of credit. As of today, “Their current house sits on 20 acres and is 7,000 square feet. The family divides itself over four bedrooms and shares one super-sized family closet” (Babble).

Courtship is a huge part of the Duggars' lives, and also a significant theme in the following season of 19 Kids and Counting. Specifically, “Courtship is really waiting for the one God has for you and praying through the whole process,” the father of 19 says. “It’s really examining the person and considering, ‘Would this be the guy I want to be the father of my kids?’” says Michelle” (Today). Courtship is allowing yourself an opportunity to get to know someone while also considering them as a potential husband or wife during the process. Michelle and Jim Bob explain that courtship is not something that can have a failed result, because even if you find out you are not compatible with the person you are dating, it is amusing  to be involved throughout the experience. In order to start a courtship you have to go through Jim Bob, who ultimately decides whether or not he thinks this person could be a good fit for you and whether or not he sees a positive outcome of it occurring. 
The most important rules of courtship are having chaperones on dates, group texting, and physical boundaries. Naturally, “The Duggars ask their daughters and their beaus to set their own boundaries on the physical side, and to share those boundaries with them” (People). Michelle and Jim Bob would suggest that there was no physical activity until marriage because things get complicated that way, which can later lead to regrets. The chaperones that come on the many dates are made up of a mixture of the siblings within the nineteen kids. The boys especially enjoy chaperoning since they have a stronger sense of who would be good for their sisters. The more people you have with you on dates, the more perspectives you gain from all of the eyes that are watching you. The parents let the kids text the person they are courting with if there is a distant between them, but only if they were involved in the message as well.

Being taught to live in such a specific way of life in which you live by God has helped the Duggar family flourish..or at least has helped most of the family for the matter. In May of 2015, the oldest of the Duggar family came out that he had molested five girls. Four of which were his sisters, and one of which was his babysitter. Josh spoke out and said, “Twelve years ago, as a young teenager I acted inexcusably for which I am extremely sorry and deeply regret. I hurt others, including my family and close friends” (CNN). The Duggar family felt violated that the confidential police reports were leaked, but explained that though this was a terrible experience for the family, they have gotten closer to God through it.

Michelle and Jim Bob tried to get Josh counseling and even seeked out help from a police officer who later got charged with child pornography. They claim they did not know that at this time, and that they also do not think their son Josh is a rapist of any sort.  Michelle says, “I know that every one of us have done things wrong. That’s why Jesus came” (Washington Post). TLC and the Duggars later revealed that 19 Kids and Counting would be cancelled. Very similar to when Honey Boo Boo got cancelled because they found out that the mother was related back to a child molester. The parents do not believe that it is fair to punish the whole family based off of one family member, but they said they are fine with whatever happens. Josh later says, “I sought forgiveness from those I had wronged and asked Christ to forgive me and come into my life. I would do anything to go back to those teen years and take different actions” (Washington Post).

In August of 2015, the website Ashley Madison got hacked revealing millions of users that were cheating on their spouses. Guess who happened to be one of them? Josh Duggar. He just apologized to the world for his sins, and is now coming back out and admitting how huge of a hypocrite he has been for fooling the world once again. He cheated on his wife Anna Duggar, and has admitted that he has a porn addiction. He later explains, "I am so ashamed of the double life that I have been living and am grieved for the hurt, pain and disgrace my sin has caused my wife and family, and most of all Jesus and all those who profess faith in Him” (US Magazine). It is amazing how someone that came from a world full of prayer would commit so many sins.

So you see? Sometimes what you see is not what you always get. We need to stop perceiving families that are spread out all over the media to be as great as they seem, because this is not true. We as an audience are being hidden the truth and still supporting people who we believe to be as genuine as they look. Though we have always been taught to never judge a book by its cover, it is crucial to have an insight to what we are really categorizing as “ideal” families. As a generation we need to realize that though we all want to believe their may be a perfect example of a family, there is not, and we should not try to believe otherwise. Media will always make someone or something better than it really is no matter the circumstances. So the next time you see a show broadcasted as the traditional family we all know and love, remember that everything is not as it seems.

 

Work Cited Page

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"How the Duggars Make Enough Money to Support Their 19 Kids."

Babble. 17 Apr.     2012. Web. 23 Sept. 2015.

"Josh Duggar Admits to Cheating on His Wife Anna Duggar: "I Have Been the Biggest    

  Hypocrite Ever"" Latest News. Web. 23 Sept. 2015.

"Josh Duggar Molested Four of His Sisters and a Babysitter, Parents Tell  Fox News."  

Washington Post. The Washington Post. Web. 23 Sept. 2015.

"Josh Duggar Responds to Child Molestation Police Report - CNN.com."

CNN. Cable  News Network. Web. 23 Sept. 2015.

The Duggars' 7 Rules of Courtship: 'Love Is in the Air' (but No Kissing) ."      

  TODAY.com. Web. 23 Sept. 2015.